At first I chuckled when I read this New York magazine article, thinking it was some unapologetic “What, too soon?” parody on the incessant recession-related articles. How could it not be, with gems such as from this one “Ross Tillman”?
My girlfriend goes to job one and job two every day; if only I had so much to pack into a day. Iâ€™ll contemplate shaving and getting dressed to go scope out a host position at a bistro, but then Iâ€™ll really like that I still have my plaid boxers on and Iâ€™ll tell myself I could always go tomorrow. I made sure that my dad deposited my car-lease money in my checking accountâ€”I think he is going to have to deposit rent money also. Using up your dadâ€™s family-plan minutes sucks. Am I really 24 and still on the family plan? Itâ€™s embarrassing.
Iâ€™m too lazy to go to the gym, so Iâ€™ll take my Les Paul out of its case and stand in front of the mirror playing a John Mayer song. Iâ€™ve spent the past two weeks drinking and listening to music. And I spent my severance at a bar. I need to get good at that guitar so I can play at bars.
(Read the full profile here.)
But then I read the profiles of other unemployed men and women on the following pages, whom I actually felt very sorry for. Then it made me glad to know “headhunters” were now being considered “redundant,” because if they are all like Ross, they’re better off contributing even less to this world as U.I. society-suckers than as gainfully employed, babied assholes.
Addendum: Do people actually still pose for portraits looking over the shoulder in the year 2009?