It’s 11 a.m. on a Monday. I’m sleeping in (rare these days) and my cellphone starts ringing.
Canice, discernibly irritated: “Hello?!”
Middle-aged black dude: “Hey, um, this is _________.”
MABD: “__________. I was on Law and Order and I’m in the upcoming movie American Gangster with Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe.”
C: “Uh… okay?”
MABD: “You gave me your card. I have your number from — I was looking in my pockets and I had your card. I have to say, you are beautiful.” [note: the lower half of my face is splashed on my business card. I have started to realize what a bad idea this is.]
C: “How did you get my card?!”
MABD: “You took a picture of me in Times Square.”
C: “THAT WAS FOUR MONTHS AGO.”
MABD: “Yeah well I was calling to ask, can I take you out somewhere nice like the Olive Garden?” [HAHAHAHA]
C: “I don’t think so… You see, I don’t live in New York anymore.”
MABD: “Well can I fly up and see you?”
C: “Ah, I’m seeing someone.” [okay so it’s not true, but it’s not a blatant lie either!!!]
MABD: “Well can I fly up and kidnap you?”
C: “I don’t think he would appreciate that.”
MABD: “You know, I think Asian women are beautiful. My friend Larry, he is seeing an Asian woman and she is beautiful. All my black friends love those little Asian women.”
MABD: “… Really.”
C: “That’s really nice. But I’m not interested.”
MABD: “Are you sure? I would treat you real good…”
C: “EW! I’m going to go now.”
Has even putting your cell phone on your business card become perilous? Mingin’, man… just sick. I hope I remember this guy’s name soon. He says he is an actor, so theoretically he could be on IMDB. I thought he was lying about the movie with Washington and Crowe, but aforementioned ever-helpful site confirmed he was telling the truth.
Tuesday: 24.8 km on the bike. Not bad for a bum knee.
11.6km so far. God bless the city of Toronto and their bike lockers! What would a commuter do without them. Edit: Rounded out the day at 23km.